Faction Rock

There's something wrong with my toes

2011-10-12T11:43:00.003+13:00

Imagine this scenario:

You go to the doctor and he says "I'm sorry, there's no reasonable cure for your condition. It'll be with you the rest of your life, and you just have to ignore it. I'm sorry. However, some people find that a daily dose of snake oil helps. You can give it a try if you want."

So you go home, with a heavy heart, but you know that you're an engineer / salesperson / mechanic / person on extended involuntary holiday (possibly seeking employment) / whatever and that he's a doctor. He knows best. So you go and buy some snake oil and start taking your daily supplement with your cornflakes in the morning.

Then one day you think, "Gosh, this snake oil is rather expensive stuff. I wonder how it works." So you open up Google and to your horror you read that snake oil does nothing, except for rare causes of earlobe inflammation in pregnant women on extended submarine voyages. Furthermore, you read that 81% of doctors admit to prescribing placebo medications and that the preferred method is to advise people to take snake oil. But you also read the the placebo effect can make a big improvement to people in a surprisingly large number of cases. But now you know that it's just a placebo and you think it won't work and you can't bear to buy useless things. You can understand the doctor's perspective, but you're kinda annoyed that he lied to you, after all the confidence you put in him.

So what do you do?

Don't do the Google search in the first place.

Peter

OSC Monitor program

2011-05-10T16:12:00.002+12:00

Today's project was to write an Open Sound Control (OSC) monitor program.

You can download an OSX application, or the original Python source code at:

http://code.google.com/p/oscmonitor/

This is my first Tkinter GUI with Python.

Peter

Plotting Murder

2010-03-05T20:36:00.003+13:00

I will start with a quote from the one and only Andrew Schwab:

"We caught you plotting murder
And now the tide is turning
We light our souls
Heat our bones
Upon your empire burning"

The point is not the words. It's the vocalisation. It's how he screams them, like he has something to express that plain words, or even sung words, can't quite express.

I wonder if the glory days of Project 86 are over. Schwab is married, and he may be calming down. It's cruelty to make a man endure more than a few decades of anxiety, even if he's allowed to sing/scream about it.

I, on the other hand, am not calm. Not today, at least.

My world is non-linear. Polydimensional. Chaotic. Professional colliding with the personal. Emotional and rational.

Mute, but the closest to being heard ever. Uncreative, yet bursting with youthful constructive power.

And still, that problem of the Old Man keeps coming up. I'm still a man in need of a saviour.

It's been a while since I did this. Where have I been? Caught up in reality. Or maybe it was Facebook. Or another blog.

Peter

Sharing stuff

2009-10-22T21:04:00.002+13:00

I've come to a new level of belief in sharing stuff. As in practically, loaning things out to people. I don't use half the stuff I have all the time.

Maybe what I should really do is sell some of the stuff I don't really use at all.

But about the stuff that I use occasionally, I think I'd like to make more of a policy of loaning stuff out.

Does anyone want to borrow anything?

Peter

-.-. .-.. --- ... ..- .-. . .-.-.-

2009-10-03T22:42:00.004+13:00

I was thinking so hard that my brain turned to mush. I was creating so much that I need to zone out. I was hiding away in a box of infinite complexity that I suddenly became ultimately and completely: simple.

Tacit, I sought the words, but found ________ none.

Music expresses those things which would otherwise be inexpressible.

It blows my mind when I hear about how science has rough edges and some of them are interesting and potentially useful, and that smart, clear thinking people disregard the current implementations of science in favour of stuff that works. Which is confusing and I would prefer to just spit out entirely, but then, I can't argue with results. At least not much.

Ice makes you cold and cream makes you soft.

Yeah, I know, the title has nothing to do with the content. And it's in a different language - or rather a different encoding rather than roman letters, but the same language.

Also, visit me on twitter:
http://twitter.com/praffensperger
http://twitter.com/politicorithmic

Peter

Like a Terrorist at Home with All His Bombs

2009-08-11T22:07:00.002+12:00

I sit here, like a terrorist at home with all his bombs, proud of my own creations.

And I think to myself, and to myself I think. I'm feelin' ready to blow. To make something happen, to make people feel something. A fuse, ready, short, trimmed, and flicker trigger action sprung.

Something's about to be let loose on the world.

Peter

Sick day, I donno, whatever

2009-08-03T21:18:00.004+12:00

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There's a big block of text. It's like, some
thing. Something, in courier font. A block o
f text. Text of block.

Irrelevant.

I think I'm gonna go crazy..................

Peter

Sick day one

2009-07-30T19:57:00.002+12:00

So yesterday I started feeling sick. So today I spent the day in softcore solitary confinement. What's new with me: I'm sick, but that gets old fast.

I devoted myself to the chewing up of internet bandwidth, to limited hedonism, and most of all to complete laziness.

Peter

But it won't make you happy

2009-07-17T20:52:00.002+12:00

When I was a kid, I liked this song by DC Talk that had the line:
"And my 200 friends couldn't fill the void in my soul"

I always thought it was like, metaphorical. But now on FB, you can easily have 200 friends. (So long as your peer group is also into FB.)

How many hundred friends does it take to be happy? There is no such number.

Peter

Too Easy

2009-06-07T22:03:00.003+12:00

Serendipity, chance, the illustrious magnificent improbability to our entire lives that engulfs space and time like no other locks can bind. Connection! Love and vacancy with all the freedom and jealousy that it entails and bids to run far away from everything that you thought meant anything to you and to the rest of the world. Hiding from yourself in an incongruent mess of wires, dangling, twisting, rat-nesting your existence into a mess of data. Representations of another self, but who are you? The you that doesn't wear any masks, the you that doesn't need validation from others, but finds inner peace and security from an introverted space that ignores the dichotomy of passivity and voice, of the earnest and the apprehensive. Who is that singer, that actor, the dancer of the moment that rides the wave of existence to the crest of fruitful imagination and bursts into the sonic boom of the eternal omnipotent now. The now. Right here and now. This moment. Forever, now. What are your expectations for the impossible, and who are you looking to for hope? Waves of inconsistency complicate our thoughtless feeling of logic while blibbering blinking ink lights shine their internet-ish light on our primordial existence, and where? What location is it that brings us all together, humanity in a single instant, together, here, now and all by chance, at peace. What is the probability of world peace? Who would know the answer to that kind of question, and when are they going to untangle the cords that bind hate to our hearts like saffron in a silver cinnamon bullet flying through the pie of our hearts and splattering our blood on the hands of our brothers. Colour and race are nothing when you have complete communication, the gallows are then, this is now. This is standing here and, not waiting for a handout, but building a better world, one laundromat chance encounter at a time. Who is to justify every word you say? Impossibly, no one. No one thinks enough about what he says but she does so many things without realising that eternity hangs in the now. The balance of today, which by chance is the yesterday of tomorrow's sorrowful regrets and the tomorrow of yesterday's hopes. Chance is now. I thought I knew myself, and by chance, I did, but then I forgot and I was swayed by the screaming of the crowds that surrounded the arena. In a crowd, where is the introvert who knows herself, but lady luck guides her sailboat down the river of time into the ocean of uncertainty and the torrent of falling rain. Compassion! Reaching out to the other, without thinking of yourself - pay it forward - touching and feeling and entering another's life. That is now. They say seize the day, but that's too easy.

Peter

Torture

2009-05-23T08:50:00.002+12:00

After reading an article on CNN, I feel it necessary to voice my own opinion about torture.

Torture is totally reprehensible, and is technique used by the morally bankrupt. How is torture different to small scale terrorism?

Christ was beaten and tortured (and eventually executed) in order to save me. But was he was saving me to a life where I would beat and torture?

If a person has had a fair trial, and they are given just punishment, then maybe I could feel ok with that. But if an untried man or woman is punished, how far justice from the land?

Peter

Boring to write

2009-05-12T21:29:00.003+12:00

Well I think it's about time to explore all the possibilities of art and life and life as a continuous performance and performance as life. Where will it all go and who will it all affect and whatever has been done about New York? Why is it so cold and why does it seem like the four walls of the world are collasping around me and man this blog post is getting boring to write

Peter

Metal fans congregate in a tramping hut with an SMT line

2009-04-29T19:52:00.002+12:00

So I dreamed that I was tramping in this random place. I stopped at this hut, I'm not sure who else was in my tramping party, but I think there might have been only a couple of them with me. Maybe it was my immediate family, I donno. There were a bunch of other people at the hut, and the hut had this sort of rectangular floor layout. It was a normal width, but there was this passageway into a back part of the hut, where they had a surface mount assembly line! Weird! I was trying to fix this design, so I was looking around for a surface mount 1 watt resistor. Then I kept walking and it looked all high-tech, like a particle accelerator or something, or maybe it was still the SMT line. Then as I walked past all that (the hut was very long I guess!) and I came into this big room full of a bunch of people. It was an acoustically treated room that had really good reflective properties. And it was in a wee back room off that big acoustically treated room that I met Chad Moore. Not many people will know of Chad Moore, but in real life, Chad Moore is the vocalist of the Christian death metal band Soul Embraced. In the dream, he was different than in real life, younger and I think a bit thinner, but I can't honestly say I really know what Chad Moore really looks like. But anyway, I was a bit star struck, and I tried to engage him in conversation. But before long, the crowd that was in the acoustically treated room realised that this was Chad Moore and they started all clapping. At was at the clapping that I realised that it was an acoustically treated room, because it echoed really well and sounded really good, in an echo-y kinda way.

Then I woke up.

Peter

Incomplete Insurance

2009-04-09T19:25:00.002+12:00

So I got myself some contents insurance. But for some reason, the policy doesn't cover acts of terrorism. I thought that was the exact sort of thing that it should cover. Big, unlikely events. But no. War and terrorism are excluded. I guess that's ok, since they are really rather unlikely even on the scale of unlikely things. And they aren't much more costly (in terms of my contents) than plain old burglary. So I'm not too worried. Although my flatmate reckons that I'm more at risk because I'm American. Maybe so, but even still, my point holds. I think.

Peter

Splinters

2009-03-19T21:58:00.000+13:00

So I haven't had internet for the last month.

That was interesting. Now it's back.

Peter

How To Actually Take Over The World: Thoughts So Far

2009-02-10T19:58:00.002+13:00

I've been intent on taking over the world for some time now, but recently I've decided that it's really far too ambitious a goal and that I'd really just be setting myself up for disappointment if I carried on.

So I gave up trying to take over the world.

But today I was thinking about it more. It seems like really, taking over the world is too unambitious a goal. The bar is set too low. Why not dream of greater things? Goals are meant to be achieved, but they rarely are. But the key thing that a goal does is set the direction that you're going to go in. Usually you only make it 80% there, or 50%, or maybe just 30%. But you've gone in the direction of the goal and that's usually good enough.

If you want to take over the world actually then you need to make your goal to be something even more ambitious than taking over the world. Like "I'm going to take over the world and enslave every man, mouse and mosquito until we've colonized the galaxy, taking over whatever civilisations we happen to find along the way." If you go for that, you'd fail, but you might end up merely taking over the world.

But I really, honestly don't want control of the whole world, or even to have 'taken over the world' in any sense really, at all. But I want to get a lot done. So I'll re-establish my goal of taking over the world, with the secret expectation that I'll probably not make it, but I might end up doing a lot of awesome stuff that leads in that direction.

Same thing we do every night! Try to take over the world!

Peter

Blackwater

2009-02-07T19:51:00.002+13:00

I was thinking: what's the difference between Hamas and Blackwater? I was thinking that it was really only a small difference. Both are groups of people that use force, and both have dubious legal status in my own eyes.

I was thinking maybe Blackwater is a terrorist organisation.

But then I read more. I reckon a terrorist organisation is a group of people that use force for a political end. But Blackwater doesn't fit that description. They're actually just mercenaries. A mercenary organisation uses force for a financial end. Terrorism is hot-headed violence, mercenaries are ideologically blank.

So, by reading Wikipedia, I conclude that Blackwater is a mercenary organisation. I also conclude that the United States should join the rest of the world in banning mercenaries, and the US should identify Blackwater as a mercenary organisation and then the US should declare Blackwater illegal for military and security operations. Blackwater should be restricted to helping little old ladies cross the street within the borders of the United States.

Blackwater should definitely not be in Iraq. The Iraqis don't want them, and there's not a good legal system for dealing with the problems that arise. As mercenaries they should be accountable as civilians under Iraqi law (it seems to me), but the United States has basically said that they're immune. Which is kinda crazy in some ways. "We'll send some of our civilians to your country to kill your people and we expect you to treat them like soldiers." (Now war in general and the Iraq war in specific are another matter. I don't know if the American state military should be withdrawn or not, I'm not considering that here.)

Basically I consider Blackwater to be evil and I consider mercenary organisations to be evil. "Private military contractor" being a synonym for mercenary. So I conclude that Blackwater are not terrorists, but they are perhaps less understandably evil.

Do evil in the name of some God or other, at least. If you do evil merely in the name of money, then fearst ye for thine eternity, sinners!

I guess it makes sense, that Americans are terrorists with a financial dogma, a tribute to the local deity of Money.

But we're talking about pretty serious evil here, the kind of thing that I start feeling guilty about paying for when I pay taxes. (Although I probably shouldn't worry too much about where my taxes are going, since Jesus supported paying taxes to the pagan Caesar.)

Peter

25 Random Things About Me

2009-02-03T17:10:00.002+13:00

Okay, so my aunt has tagged me on Facebook for this meme, and it's my nephew-ish duty to comply...

Rules:
Whatcha talkin' about? I don't need no rules! I tag none but those that tag themselves.

Really really random things about me:
1) I have a theory about humour where jokes need only amuse myself. I sometimes wonder if people hear me when I burst out laughing for no apparent reason as I'm trying to fall asleep.

2) I am a soft-core pacifist. I've thought a lot about pacifism and just war theory, and I've come to the current, tenative conclusion that there is such a thing as a just war. However, it seems like human war is generally unjust. Practically, I have chosen not to do engineering work for arms companies or governments and I am unwilling to be in direct service of a military. I voted US Pacifist Party in the 2008 US Presidential election.

3) I'm into heavy metal music, like, where the singers scream. I guess I'm falling down a spiral of sensory down-regulation where I need nastier and nastier music to get a kick. But it's a fun downward spiral of sensory down-regulation.

4) I'm in an argument with food. In some ways, I wish I could be middle aged and not have to eat as much. Yeah, it's stupid I know. Don't worry, I'll enjoy my youth.

5) All throughout school and undergrad at university, I wrote in pen because assessements had to be in pen. Now I'm using pencil.

6) I am a highly imaginary person. As a complex number, I would call myself something like 1.7 + j10. Other people are more real, and therefore would feel uncomfortable summarising themselves (or probably anyone) in a single number.

7) I am a city dweller. I grew up in Chicago, a city so big that it scares me when I go back. As a city dweller, I have developed a set of understandings of the world from that perspective. For example, I am opposed to guns and I believe that the 2nd Ammendment in the US constitution should be removed. In the city, there is no reason to have a gun. However, in the country, a gun can be just another sharp tool.

8) I type with more confidence than I handwrite.

9) I studied electrical engineering but I didn't learn electromagnetics.

10) It's been said that if you play guitar you can play bass guitar. I think the general feeling is true, in that if you play guitar it's easier to learn bass than flute, but still bass is a complicated instrument all by itself.

11) I used to dislike the sound of bass drums. I find get a pop/rock bass drum sound that I really liked. Now I don't seem to have that problem.

12) I've come to believe that maths is just a langauge and that it doesn't express fundamental truths about the world.

13) I've also come to believe that philosophy is a process and that it isn't useful for finding fundamental truths about the world.

14) I've found that fundamental truths about the world pretty much have to be assumed before you start doing anything. It seems like no one questions their own existence, even though "I think therefore I am" is actually arbitrary!

15) I've come to truth in Jesus and reject atheism. Atheism is useless and dead. There is no life purpose in atheism except the arbitrary.

16) Ironically, I am working on a project doing predictions of simple time-series sequences (like chaotic oscillators) but I doubt the predictability of most actual things.

17) I have a funny thing on my right wrist that's like a birthmark but not. It helped me learn left from right as a kid. Now I consider it a special feature and an outward reminder of the asymmetry of my body.

18) I regard asymmetry as an important element of art, philisophically speaking. Art should be almost symmetrical, but not quite.

19) I read and reread the Bible but don't get closer to understanding Jesus.

20) I find it aesthetically pleasing to not own a car, but eventually I'll probably want one enough and have enough money to get one.

21) I'm

22) running

23) out

24) of

25) things!

Peter

Executive Order

2009-01-23T17:57:00.003+13:00

I applaud Obama for his recent executive order close Guantanamo Bay. May it happen swiftly and appropriately.

I am hesitant to hope for this big 'change' thing, and I am cautions so as to avoid disappointment. But I wonder, if maybe, just maybe, this could be a brighter chapter in the history of the United States.

But Obama cannot save us. Let's not forget where our hope really comes from, were ultimate and complete justice originates: Jesus Christ. Oddly, Jesus' life centres around mercy, a form of injustice. Jesus proclaimed release of the captives and the year of the Lord's favour. The year of the Lord's favour is in some ways a very bad thing, for the oppressors and the bankers. Debts are released and land is given back to the original family owners.

Obama cannot proclaim the year of Jubilee, but maybe he can cough up a few microseconds of Jubilee.

Lord haste the day, when my faith shall be sight!
And the clouds be rolled back as a scroll!
The trump shall be sound, and the Lord shall descend!
Even so, it is well with my soul!

I invite you to appeal to God for a greater release of justice in the world:
God, I pray that you would be saving us. Be saving the world, be saving New Zealand, and be saving America. Please forgive us for our sins, personally, and nationally. We don't look to inspiring politicians for salvation and justice, we trust in you. Please bring your kingdom to the world, to New Zealand and to the United States. Replace the injustice with justice, replace the torture with mercy, replace the attitudes in our hearts that hate life with abundant joy and love for our fellow creatures. Thank you for what you have already accomplished at the cross, and for the glimmers of justice that we see even now. Come Lord Jesus! Save this world, save New Zealand, save the United States, and save even me, a sinner against you. Thank you for your grace!

Peter

USA 2.0

2009-01-21T17:22:00.002+13:00

Or maybe that should be USA 44.0.

The changing of the guard. The end of an era. Something new to look forward to. Something old to try and forget.

This morning I read the text of Obama's inauguration speech. It made me think:

God knows what he's doing.

If I were inaugurated president today, I wouldn't have said the things that Obama said. I'd have said really different things. I'd try to give the world what I thought it needed rather than give America what it wants. But remember:

God knows what he's doing.

So instead we have Obama. I don't know if Obama is exactly what America needs, or if Obama is somehow going to be the uber hand of God in a way that previous presidents haven't been. But I just wonder if the King really does have everything in control. The King is not uniformly acknowledged, but let's remember that even though we have a new president, we always know that God is still King. King over America and King over the whole world. God is King of Kings and King of Presidents.

I speculate that Obama is the right mixture of patriotism, and humility, of dedication to America and willingness to serve the world. He seems to have enough patriotism and dedication to America to actually be a decent leader at home, one that the people won't throw out right away. And he seems to have enough humility and willingness to serve the world to almost make the United States a servant leader on the international stage.

He might or might not be able to turn around the economy. He might or might not be able to inspire Americans. He might or might not be able to bring peace to Iraq and Afghanistan. He might or might not be a continued role model. He might or might not be a mockery. He might or might not be respected as he gets to work instead of looking pretty.

He probably won't be able to make a lasting peace in the old land of Palestine/Israel. (Side note: I'm beginning to wonder exactly what the basic difference between Israelis and Palestinians is... It seems a lot like Northern Ireland, where it's mostly a difference of something simple like colour.) Obama probably won't be able to change the hearts of Americans away from their greed. Obama probably won't be able to fix the wrongest things about the world.

But you know what? I think God knows what he's doing with America. God's got a plan, and it looks pretty good to me. I wonder if he also has a sense of irony.

Here's to USA 2.0.

Peter

I Understand

2009-01-10T10:32:00.002+13:00

I understand. I understand why people don't like metal sometimes.

I'm listening to Living Sacrifice now. I'm a latecomer to the Living Sacrifice thing. They're an old band. I remember finding them on iTunes in 2005 and thinking "Good guitar parts, but I don't like the vocals."

Listening to them now, my tastes have changed a bit. I can stand it, but even now, it sounds like trash. There is an angry white guy thinking he's so hardcore yelling about Jesus. The guitar parts just sound like trash and the drums sound like they're recorded in a garage. The guitar solos are like the sound of cutting metal.

But you know how people make sculptures out of garbage? That's kinda what I see in Living Sacrifice. They are the sharpest, the hardest, the loudest, the angriest, the most malicious, the ugliest, the nastiest. They are trash. It sounds like trash. It seems like at any moment, the music could degenerate into total noise, and sometimes it does.

I've got "In Memoriam", and some of the tracks are better than others. Some I don't really like, and they are just trash. Others I do like and they are more like extreme 1990's metal with artistic taste, balance and symmetry.

Hey, if you don't like metal, I can understand.

Rock on,
Peter

It's All Real

2009-01-08T21:42:00.002+13:00

I never realised, but all the games about bandicoots are real.

-----

Also, I've been learning Python. I like. Batteries included. Works a charm.

Peter

New Level of Consciousness

2009-01-03T13:57:00.000+13:00

I've reached a new level of consciousness! Get yourself a guitar! Quit engineering! Free your mind! Disregard everything I've ever said!

Peter

Beard Simulator

2009-01-01T09:48:00.001+13:00

Beard simulator!

Peter

Economic and Environmental Crises

2008-12-22T08:28:00.003+13:00

There's been a lot of talk about an economic crisis, and there is a growing awareness of the present and existing environmental crisis (or perhaps crises).

I suspect and suggest that the solution to both problems is a heart change. A change from a heart of greed to a heart of charity. A change from a heart of consumption to a heart of stewardship. Change the way you are in order to change what's happening in the world.

I was riding the bus a few months ago and I realised that I was surrounded by people. I suspect that the solutions to the economic crisis will involve more community focus. Individualism costs more. If we have a barn dance, it take less electricity and less heating than if we all sit at home watching TV.

The environmental crisis is really the amalgamation of a number of serious problems facing the earth, both locally and globally. Global warming is a global problem. (I just thought I'd add that genius observation to show how smart I am.) The possums are a problem local to New Zealand. Instead of thinking of the earth as a set of resources to be used for maximum financial gain now, I think we need to start thinking of the earth as an old well-knit sweater of gold. The sweater was made by our grandparents, and we wearit now while it fits us, but we will be passing it on to our children, and their children and so on. If we tear apart the sweater now and get out all the gold, our children won't be able to enjoy it. There is gold there. It is made of gold. But it's important to keep it in one piece.

I suggest that in 2009 that we work on fixing these problems, starting with our own hearts. My own heart needs changing. The lines between good and evil, between freedom and fear, line not between countries and organisations, but between parts of each of our hearts.

Love,
Peter

NIN Parody from a dream

2008-12-17T17:31:00.002+13:00

Head like a stone!
Dry as a bone!
I'd rather die
Than give you a loan!

Seriously I dreamed this. I was talking to some emo guy and we were talking about Nine Inch Nails, and it was like "No, it's not 'Head like a stone'! It's 'Head like a hole'!"

Peter

Nails, Thorns, Dice and a Cross

2008-12-13T08:58:00.002+13:00

I think I want to make a necklace with gnarly, rusted iron nails. The problem is that I've gotta figure out a way to make it so that the nails don't stab me in the neck.

Peter

Chaos

2008-12-10T19:14:00.000+13:00

I'm not saying that chaos and disorder will follow in my wake.

We'll be dancing.

When you twirl chaos and dip disorder, people panic.

Peter

March of the Pigs

2008-12-05T21:48:00.002+13:00

The pigs have won tonight
If they can all sleep soundly
Then everything is alright

(Nine Inch Nails)

Peter

Favourite Quotes

2008-11-15T13:02:00.002+13:00

One of the good things about Facebook is that you get answers to random questions about people. Like, when in face to face conversation have you asked some to list their favourite quotes?

Peter

Signal Patterns: Music

2008-11-14T11:37:00.000+13:00

Tempo
You like music that's fast.

Electrical
You like music with amplified instruments.

Aggressive
You like music that's borderline violent.

Loud
You like music that's best when played at an ear-shattering volume.

Peter

Awesome, Extreme and Domination

2008-11-09T10:11:00.001+13:00

Three words for this week => Happy happy happy!

I'm a cookie! I'm a cookie! I'm a cookie!

Peter

I Forgot

2008-11-08T18:51:00.001+13:00

After so much engineering I wonder if I've begun to forget.

Peter

My Thoughts on the NZ Election

2008-11-07T13:32:00.001+13:00

Peter

The Conspiracy

2008-11-06T18:04:00.000+13:00

So I've figured it out guys. You can stop pretending, I know now.

It's all a big conspiracy in my favour!

Peter

Y'All Wanna Old White Guy

2008-11-05T17:22:00.003+13:00

Say %$*% that!
^#$# that!
%*&# that *#&$!

Peter

Machines (IV)

2008-10-29T20:11:00.000+13:00

In today's world it would be impossible to stop using machines
They are everywhere
They are the only force that can keep us going
In our unnatural concrete cities
Maybe it is time to unplug

Can you stop the machines?

Three

Two

One

Off

-----

Peter

Machines (III)

2008-10-29T19:21:00.002+13:00

Three

This machine will rock the world

The internal working of machines is difficult to explain
For those of you who are not especially trained in science, mathematics, or engineering
It is easiest to think of machines as being limited forms of magic
Magic that makes your life easier
And more full of blips, bleeps and random annoying sounds

-----

Peter

Machines (II)

2008-10-28T17:15:00.001+13:00

Two

This machine is to override heartbeat of the performing musicians

Machines can be incomprehensibly complex
They are designed by highly skilled geeks
Who themselves are machines
Machines that run on coffee, sandwiches and no sunlight

-------

Peter

Machines (I)

2008-10-26T22:47:00.002+13:00

Okay, and start the machines
One

This first machine is to set a beat for machines to come

Machines are part of our lives
They work for us and against us
They clean our cloths then beep at us
They drive us to work and honk at us
They make that horrible scraping sound that keeps you awake at night

--------

Peter

Happy

2008-10-24T16:55:00.000+13:00

Happy happy happy happy happy happy...

Peter

Prince of Peace - God of War

2008-10-22T22:06:00.001+13:00

I just watched Prince of Peace - God of War by John Campea. I recommend it. It's a documentary wrestling the question of pacifism and of just war.

My recommendation is:
Don't go to war without first watching this documentary.

Before today I had conceded to the concept of just war. That concept has been weakened by watching the documentary.

Maybe we're called to take a spiritual perspective and absolutely never use lethal force. I can't really lead myself to believe that totally though.

But then, why isn't it as simple as "Love your enemies" therefore do not kill them?

Riddle me that, all you fellow armchair philosophers!

Peter

Reality is Overrated

2008-10-19T22:57:00.002+13:00

I'd rather live in my happy delusions than in your perfect world
I'd rather not live like you, pouting and upper lip curled
I'd rather drink a thousand rivers than chunder your words
I'd rather die and rise and fly on sky-seeking thunderbirds

Reality is overrated but you don't seem to care
I've found that realism makes me ache everywhere
Pretend is where it's at
Just ask the Cat in the Hat

Peter

Prepositions to end your sentences with

2008-10-18T10:27:00.002+13:00

"I collect human skulls."

"I used to seek thrills. Now I seek a speedy recovery."

"I don't have no problems with grammar. Grammar has problems with me."

"Gluten free baking is kind of like a disco party with no music.
People ask me how I stay so slim. It's all in the food alergies."

"One day there will be world peace. And glowing cockroaches will rule the radioactive earth."

"I've come to the belief that all mathematics is contrived. I've also come to newer and better methods of keeping the debt collectors off my back."

Peter

noooorrrrmaaaann waaaaaaaal

2008-10-14T18:56:00.002+13:00

joost da bood daab abba jaaboostoopoodiddly
iddledypiddledy doowahahaha badadadaaboojoopoo
jooboonooboohoothisisacoded
messageforyoutofigureoutboojooboo
hoooooooh jippleydippleydopoodoobootoopoo
heeeellllaaaaoooodoodoodoollloop
beeeddaaameeehaaaaarrrrrrtttt
saaaaaeeeee reeeet wwwaaaa
booo booo eee kaaannntt
noooorrrrmaaaann waaaaaaaal
boop doeeee feee kaaakaakeeeeedoo
laaaayaaahahahaha leeeesss meeey haaaarrrrt
toooo haaaaaaand boo booo eee kaaaannn goooooo onnnnnn
mooooomeeeeeent rooow
da da da dadat kt kt kt kt kt da da da doo doo da da da doo
daaa daaaadaaataaabaa
goooooonnnng boooooom booooom bood aoood baoood bodadaooo boodadaaa
baooodao aoboood oboooda aodoaoaob aoodaoob bodoaodoa bodoao

Peter

In Witch

2008-10-12T22:35:00.003+13:00

In which he screamed a stream of incoherent nonsense:
It all seemed like a good idea at the time, but when you really break it down, it's not about the time, it's about the place. Things appear to be four dimensional only because we experience time linearly. But to those of them who are Nth dimensional in place and space, it's all about the boogie that you dance when you break it down with no pants in France where the ladies and the boys do the lance chance happenstance.
----------

Anyway....

----------

This is a shout out to Kanye West! Chi city represent!

Peter

How Could I Ever Go Back?

2008-10-12T18:43:00.002+13:00

Illusions of what I thought was love
Now I have clear sight to see
That I have left nothing behind

(From "Illusions" by As I Lay Dying.)

Peter

Bradford Lyttle 08

2008-10-06T17:42:00.001+13:00

US Pacifist Party.

Peter

Your Shoulders

2008-10-04T09:57:00.000+13:00

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

(Josh Groban)

Peter

Reducing Functionality Through Engineering

2008-10-01T22:33:00.002+13:00

So one of my speakers stops working. Okay, gutted.

The warranty is long gone, so it's time to see what an-about-to-be EE can do about it! Yeah baby, here we go!

Step 1: Replace fuse, see if it magically comes back to life.

No such luck.

Step 2: Open up the box.... (This is usually a one way trip for stuff that I've done this to in the past. I'm trying not to make that the case here.)

Step 3: See if there's anything obviously munted inside.

No? Okay, start poking around with the meter.

Now it looks like the transformer might be broken, it's got quite a small primary side resistance.

But how small is too small? Well, I happen to have the other speaker, which works... Okay, so take that one apart too, and quickly measure it and then put it back together. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

And nothing did. At first. Then the working speaker's tweeter cuts out. And magically comes back... Then cuts out again! D'oh!

Okay, so the connector to the tweeter must've come loose. Take it apart again and see if it's come loose. No. D'oh! Put it in some anyway and put it back together. Hope hard that it'll work.

No.

This = bad. Music is now playing back even worse than before...

Tune in later for more of the saga of me panicking in silence trying to get music to fill my ears again...

Peter

Non-Linearity

2008-09-25T22:16:00.003+12:00

So we're studying non-linearity in electronics. About time, I say. The world is not linear. I'll stand by that. You'll find some things that are pretty much linear, and you'll find some living creatures that are natural snack foods. But not many, and that's the point.

As a general rule, things are non-linear. It's man forming the world in his own image when he says that the world can be imagined as linear. It's an easy compromise.

Give me those harmonics, that intermodulation distortion. Mmm, tasty.

We study steady state, but there is no steady state. Everything, at best, is transient. Most stuff just isn't really comprehensible. We'll try, nay, even make progress. But we're all just sophomoric adolescents wandering around the world trying to make sense of it all.

Our minds are too small to fit reality inside. We can only ever hope to fit glimpses and unusual revelations.

Science is flawed. We will never make it. We will always remain ignorant and insufficient. We think and we think and suddenly we realise that it's not about understanding.

When God introduced himself to the people of Israel in Exodus, he didn't say "Ok Moses, tell them that it was this massive being that sent you, who is omnipotent and omnipresent, and all loving and all that kind of stuff, y'all understand?"

No.

He said "Tell them that the I AM sent you." You know the beingness. Yahweh. The one who was and is and is to come and bes without the shackles of time. He is what we are made in the image of. (Note well that proper theology tells us that God does think and does actually understand everything.)

We do not think first of all. We are.

And all this non-linearity reminds us that the world is more complicated that we can ever possibly imagine.

We stand on the edge of the ocean looking at shells and weird rocks. The ocean of reality stands totally undiscovered before us.

Rock on,
Peter

1|\||)|_|5+|?4|

2008-09-24T21:26:00.003+12:00

Gzzk kk kk gzzk kk kk gzzk kk kk gzzk!

|\| | |/|

KMFDMDFMK

|7_ () ( |< 0 |\| !

|> E + E R
|

The Wood

2008-09-23T22:32:00.001+12:00

The wood of the floor shakes with the ringing of the strings and the skins.

The people dance on.

Peter

Loose Cannon

2008-09-21T08:23:00.001+12:00

The moral of the story is: if you're going to get a loose cannon to do your business, he will eventually turn to fire even on you.

The real moral of the story is: be that loose cannon. That way it can never fire on you.

Peter

Chaotic Nihilism

2008-09-18T23:03:00.005+12:00

Just as I starting thinking that everything was safe and fine and Yankee-Doodle-dandy I saw the light at the end of the tunnel that turned out to be a train that was shipping the coal that fires the urban industry to destroy the world and cut down the rainforests and provide free hugs to make it all better when what we really need is a revolution to tear down the establishment and haste the day when our faith shall be sight to the blind and begging cripples in the gutter that make our society miserable just like it was when we abandoned the widows and the fatherless and the single mothers with screaming toddlers hanging off their strong but tired arms that can't form fists no more because they have learned that it is impossible to dole out the compassion when your community doesn't support you and the government tries to take away your kids and the man in your life isn't and the sun doesn't shine like it used to when the clouds were rolled up in Zeus' sleeve with Athena sitting in wisdom and judgement and confrontation to the failed manhood of our perverse generation that tries to make the wrongs right and the rights wrong and everything that's black white and everything that's grey black and all things melt into a single pot of paranoid delusion that hides the yellow fear that drives us all underground to where no one can see us and no one can touch us and nothing really seems to bother us and time stands still for but a moment when we can escape escape and catch our breath before the working week steals us all away until the next Friday rolls along and brings back the beer and the booze that returns us to what we thought we were meant to be doing but what we'd realise is so pointless if we just bothered to get a job that we enjoyed doing which could bring us fulfilment and vitality that would unite the fiefdoms and factions and return the world to the Garden of Eden when man and woman were united with God and when nature was in harmony with itself and nothing else mattered but that crafty serpent that brought down the whole world by tempting Adam to betray God by choosing Eve, and ultimately dooming all men to face that constant struggle of God or the girl, the prototypical case where everything blends down to selfish decisions and morally ambiguous notions that guide a young man into madness and folly that infects the brain like a Chaotic Nihilism that Nietzsche would wet the bed and wake up screaming if he ever dreamt something so raw and angry.

Peter

Odd

2008-09-16T22:26:00.003+12:00

Odd creature that I am, so fearful and yet so resourceful.
Victorious so far, but constantly assuming failure around the corner.

So I've got just one more thing to say
Before we all go blow the world away
I've got just one more thing to do
Before the CERN LHC chews you

\m/_

Peter

Man's Programming

2008-09-13T23:37:00.003+12:00

"So why do you want to change your life?"
"I was thinking that I maybe one day I would be something, that I would be cool and be awesome and that everyone would respect me. It doesn't matter if I were good or bad or even downright evil, so long as people noticed me. Absolutely blending in I barely exist, it's as if I didn't matter. Unable to affect the world for good or for bad, I am static, insignificant and infinitesimal. Non-zero but not measurably by any means. If I would just do something big, I might get noticed, even for just a little while."
"What are you going to do?"
"Anything. Anything big, that would get noticed. I could commit a crime so great that I would be heralded as a monster, a demon in the flesh, a clock of flesh that steals the time of life. I could become a sacrifice, a burnt offering of blood and veins to appease the deity of publicity. I could do amazing good. Save the world! I could invent, create, sing, inspire. I could leave a legacy of truth and salvation. I could make the dead rise, the blind see, the deaf hear and the mute speak. Anything and everything is possible and I will do it all in a single day!"
"When will you do this?"
"Never. It is all impossible. All these things are true, and all things are false. Nothing I say is written, and nothing written is said. I reach into the depths of my conscience and I find anomalous dissonance of character, spite and programming. In the forge of my youth the hammer fell on my mind with my heart on the anvil and I was shaped! Shaped by hands of parents, peers, society, teachers, artists, poets, soldiers, philosophers, preachers, children, talkers, whisperers, shouters and politicians. Forged like an axe to cut, like a bow to shoot, rifled to twirl, a Caesar to conquer, an Alexander to be Great, a Madonna to be pictured."
"How did you become this way?"
"When a man goes to make a machine, he plans. He lists, and he extrapolates. He refines his vision until even others can see it clearly. Like the stars on a cloudless night, he envisions. And using the daemonaic languages of farce and brutality, he qualifies his wrath into quantified instruction. Instruction! An endless stream of specifics, detailing every case. No room for adjustment, no freedom, no sense of unreliability. This is the goal. No variation! No variance gives infinite power. Compiled by covert forces into the assembly language of man. The teachings, instructions and precepts that guide a boy into his life. That direct his steps and make him do everything single detailed and damned thing that he has been told to do. This is what I am. A machine running instructions. As specified by the manufacturer, with a warranty, a shelf life, a users manual and no variation!"
"But are you not master of your own destiny?"
"Oh course. That is part of my programming. I am programmed to make choices, to weigh up the options, to chose! But at every choice, I only do what I want. I do nothing else but that which I chose to do. I am constrained by my own preference, by my own desires. And where, great questioner, do my desires come, from?! Every answer to every question is cooped up inside my upper thinker and answers are retrieved from the programmed space and are loaded into my desires at precisely the right time. I have total freedom. I can chose without interference. But I will always do what I want. And what I want I have been programmed to want. I cannot want to want anything else, because I don't want to. I cannot want to do something besides my programming."
"What of rebellions?"
"All are nought. A sociopath is merely a robot that has been programmed with less than the greatest finesse. My childhood however, was one of decency and qualification. Of diligence and manhood, of morality and simplicity. I will not become a psycho because it is not in my veins. This is the catch: I could become a sociopathic killer, it would need to be gradual. But I won't. It's not that I couldn't or that I wouldn't think of it in an idle moment. It's that I absolutely can't due to a missing entry in the look up table of my manhood. My identity is in my work, in obsessive perfectionism that leads to creative works that spring from an imagination of dogs, demons, daughters and devices rich with mathematics and machines, problems that fall to my scrutiny and morals that would make any artist put away his misgivings about society."
"Then, are you a good man?"
"Yes, undoubtedly. But good is reserved for those who are under ultimate Grace and those who have been forgiven their sins of the trespasses of indecency and hatred. Sing a song of salvation, oh!, it is good to be free! But in all that, where is my concern that all of this is an illusion, that underneath humanity is a skin laid so bare that it is but matter! Matter makes a secular humanist of a soul leaving no tears and no laughter and only the stone cold singing of an arrow fletch with a shaft and a head buried deep in the once beating heart of a Christian! Evolution, and survival of the fittest. One idea supplants another and sadness is replaced with joy. Or at least madness is replaced with reason and the jovial emotions are left unscarred. But unlikely. Nihilism is where this all leads and nihilism is where it all ends."
"Then you are rejecting what you were programmed to do?"
"Impossibly so. But not so much rejecting, as confirming what it is all along. Many words leave meaning obscured and lack of decent forethought means that no change in views is possible. I am left with nothing, not even the great fortunes of life, money, freedom and education. I am left with jagged edges of a man I once knew as myself. I project myself onto imagined characters to hide the true intentions of my fiendish spell of letters. I am Iago and I will deceive my Othello self into killing me Desdemona demons and my Angela angels with swords of confusion and grace and dignity and lust and certainty and joy and vicious hatred and calm embarrassment. Vomit your programming because that is what you are programmed to do! Chase away the thoughts of vain predestination because you are flying free! Jump out of yourself because you want to and you want to want to and you want to want to want to want to. You can't do anything else, and nor can I because we are both alike in that manner. The concious mind isn't so, and the unconscious mind is so unpredictable. Alice never figured out the Mad Hatter but it didn't matter. I am through with my programming and I am through with myself."
"So there is a way out?"
"Yes and no. I can end the program. Step out of The Matrix, take the red pill and wake up in the real world. But the operating system might keep running the background, a higher order Matrix that completely contains the first. And N orders of Matrices which are multiplied on the left before it. I could accept it, move on and chase after money, success and women. I could try a third possibility and very likely go insane. Or I could waste everything on fruitless thinking that aches my brain and forces you to keep interrogating me."
"Then should we stop now and talk tomorrow?"
"A good idea. Then we shall never talk again."

Peter

Patriot Day

2008-09-11T16:39:00.002+12:00

If you refuse to be afraid
Why are your pants so wet?
A mental fatality

Your freedom is stayed
Why make laws you'll regret?
Just herd mentality

Hurt yourself and refuse aid
We are our greatest threat
Belt and suspenders for our morality

Death at the Trade
But life is an option yet
You can change reality

Peter

Political Results

2008-09-10T19:36:00.002+12:00

I don't want to vote for Obama for US president this year.
I don't want to vote for McCain for US president this year.

I find it objectionable to vote for someone who supports abortion.
I find it objectionable to vote for someone who's got oil spilling out the ears.

If I'm feeling pragmatic, I'll do some quick research on the possible candidates and choose.

If I'm feeling idealistic, I might abstain if I can't find any qualifiers.

Peter

Code

2008-09-07T22:23:00.003+12:00

Code, I speak in code
Code, I write in code
Code, for machines understand and men to abstain
Code, for reckless villains and charming princesses
Code, for violence and confusion
Code, I speak and write in code
Code, for safety and security
Code, to minimise risk and catch every special case
Code, to hide in myself and never get out
Code, to blacken the whiteness and gray out everything in the whole world
Code, I speak and write in code
For no one to understand me

Peter

Nine Inch Nails + Sewing

2008-09-02T19:54:00.002+12:00

So I figure that seeing as I will be a bachelor for an unforeseeable (and perhaps infinite) time to come, I have no reason to absolutely rock out the home economics skills, the sewing skills, the cooking skills and the other skills usually considered to be 'home-making.'

I'll tell you, you figure out why thimbles were invented pretty quick when you're in the situation where you actually need one!

And man! Knotting thread is a rigorous exercise in practical 3D geometry! Gak!

It also helps to have some really industrial music to listen to while you work.

Peter

Spring: A New Thing

2008-09-01T19:56:00.002+12:00

The dude on the big chair said "Yo! Ch-check it out! I'm making everything new!" Then, "Scribble away, cause I'm on to something awesome here."

This spring, I finish my BE(hons). This spring, I'll do a new thing.

Rock on,
Peter

Goodbye Winter

2008-08-30T23:15:00.000+12:00

Two days left!

:P :P :P

Peter

Music To Brush Your Teeth To

2008-08-29T17:08:00.000+12:00

There are original jokes, by yours truly:

Music to brush your teeth to:

"Or take Jane Doe here as an example: her identity was stolen and now not even her mother recognises her."

I've been Facebook stalking you. And I think I know who you are. I want to kill you.

The music speaks to me. Sometimes with the Voice of God, other times with the voice only of John le Carre.

It freaks me out that we don't know everything there is to know about water. Does that freak you out?

Party this Saturday night! BYOICBM.

I want to eat someone's head. Gingerbread perferably, but I'm not actually that picky. Guess you should watch out for me.

Isn't it interesting that Neil Armstrong is famous for taking a "small step" that was a "giant leap" and that Lance Armstrong is a famous cyclist? Neither man is famous for lifting something.

Some guy's research project suggests that determing whether a man's face is beautiful or not is harder for a computer than determining if a woman's face is beautiful. There's gotta be a sexist joke somewhere in there.

Lesser known than Agent Orange, are Agent Purple, Agent Pink, Agent Green, Agent White, Agent Blue, and Agent Cody Banks. All of them but Agent Blue and Agent White contained carcinogens.

I suggest that all young people get really good at taking tests. You will not only do better in school, but you will find your eyesight will be measurably improved, your hearing will go off more later, you will get better jobs, and you will have a higher IQ.

In loneliness there is no opposing force. At least enemies are company.

Pain is an interesting thing. It can be good for you, it can teach you, refine you, strengthen you. And it can also mindlessly torture you with no postive effect at all.

A gaming console is like a hot dog. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad by itself, it only depends on how many extras you have and who you're sharing it with, specifically, how greedy that person is.

People my age and younger are getting married. Oldness! AAAAAAAA!

I once met a young lady on the street after dark who thought I was a crazy homeless guy on drugs. She was wrong. The darkness prevented her from seeing that I'm really a purple flying donkey.

The metronome is my master. I-am-a-slave-to-his-rhy-thm.

Sometimes I wonder how to use an abacus to do my accounting. Other times I make myself a cheap vegetarian curry for dinner and forget that I even own an abacus.

My sister got so frustrated when she tried to learn violin that I've loved music ever since.

A good book is your ticket to a good fire. A good drink is your ticket to a good fire. A good cigarette is your ticket to a good fire. A good secretary/mistress is your ticket to a good fire. A rough gentleman's entertainment can start a lot of good fires.

There was the Internet and now we have Web 2.0. And tomorrow we'll have a good laugh about it all and go back outside and watch the sun set.

I once tried to bring a swing set home. My mother wouldn't let me, but at least I got more LEGO than usual that Christmas.

My girlfriend said she was dumping me because I don't read enough good books. I said I was dumping her because she didn't read enough good websites.

They said rock and roll will never die, and looky now! Hip hop, on the other hand, will really never die.

I tried to raise up a school of goldfish by calling my people out of their slavery in Egypt, but all I have to show for it is a lot of evidence that you can't burn a bush for long under water.

I never understood jazz. But then I learned to talk by watching television, so I guess it's a fair trade.

I heard that in Nepal they have the tallest mountain in the world. I was gonna go and climb it, but then I heard that Chicago had the tallest building in the world and that it had an elevator.

I used to fear spiders, the dark, heights, big dogs, enclosed spaces, crowds and needles. Now I have nothing to be unafraid of but fear itself.

My last house had a lot of air drafts. Then I flooded it and the problem went away.

iPods are white and Macs are white and Steve Jobs is white. Do you think it's all a big racist conspiracy?

They say you should never look directly into the sun, but they don't also warn you to never look directly at the moon. I did that once. It's a lunatic idea.

The Internet has connected man like nothing else. I mean, except the pub, obviously.

The new pope speaks six languages. But he's still Catholic. For a second there I was getting excited.

Seems like everyone these days is named Muhammad. Betcha that's where they got the 'M' in 'Mr'.

How can the New York Times have a new #1 best seller every week? And while I'm being picky, wouldn't "#1 best" be redundant?

"Son, see that guy in the town square selling salvation who everyone ignores? One day, you could be that guy. Wouldn't ever matter if you failed high school."

They say there is no word that rhymes with orange. I take that as a sure sign that all who have gone before me have had a fetish on keeping the English language holy and unmodified. Shakespeare would turn over in his ablorange grave.

Your mommy probably told you not to give money to grotty beggers. Little did she know but people like her have destoryed my livelihood.

People in the first world always want to be more thin. People in the third world always want to be less thin. I'm working on a way for them to trade. Then I'll be stinkin' rich.

If Kanye West digs a gold digger, I suggest that he marries Heather Mills. I hear she goes for those musical guys. Get down girl, go 'head get down.

Someone moved my cheese in my career. Fortunately, they didn't take the crackers or the champagne.

Some people get drunk. Others hold up a broom, look at the ceiling and spin around until they fall over. I'm told it's pretty much the same thing except that it's a lot cheaper.

What if I send a letter and just before it gets postmarked, the cost to send a letter increases? For simplicity, let's say it's the letter 'A'.

I wonder if there is a really awesome career path for librarians. Maybe you start off as the guy shelving books on the bottom shelf of the third sub-basement and you gradually work your way up to a desk job. Maybe you can be come an executive librarian and work out library strategy stuff.

High school is kinda like a bad joke with a really long build up with no punchline. No wait. You get punched a lot more than than.

In playing the blues it is helpful to be depressed, estranged, opressed, drunk and if at all possible, dead.

A lot of good choirs and book groups start in prisons. You might think that people go to prison and they network with other criminals. But actually you will find that the most productive and upright community members are in prison. Like Nelson Mandela.

Any idea as good as democracy is worth selling. Instead of bombing the burqas off our enemies, us Americans should mount a massive advertising campaign. "And if you buy now, we will throw in the free constitution writing kit at NO EXTRA CHARGE!"

I used to be at war with my flatmate's cats. But the cats being lazy, and me being a true pacist at heart, we've settled for an abusive domestic relationship.

I don't have split personality disorder and neither does he.

I once saw a Russian dancer who was as tall as a tree. Funny, cause he was playing the tree part. Come to think of it, why was a Russian dancer playing the tree part in the middle of the forest anyway?

All women should grow their hair long enough to make washing it an all day exercise. And they should wear really uncomfortable shoes. That way I will be less tempted to get a sex change.

I once saw an old guy eating a lolly from the bulk bins at the grocery store. I was gonna stop him, but I was too busy enjoying the free lolly.

My friend said that he had to grow a mustache as part of his officer training in the airforce. I guess it's important to be able to use a wide variety of deadly weapons.

I don't use spell check. Not only does it stiffle creativity btu ti sotps heglei oleraqretnign.

Lightning never strikes the same place twice. So if you are caught in a thunderstorm, you should take cover by running to the first place that gets struck and staying there.

Carpet is far better than hardwood floors. Who ever gave their brother a real good burn on a hardwood floor?

Most people look down on vandalism, but not me. The art of the burnt out letter box is wholly undervalued.

The band The Who has the record for the loudest rock concert. You were there? I SAID, THE BAND THE WHO HAS THE RECORD FOR THE LOUDEST ROCK CONCERT.

I went to get an operation and I told the surgon that I didn't like his receptionist. Really, that's why both my arms are on the same side.

If robots dream of electric sheep then would that mean that there are outlets in their dreams too? Then I would love to be a robot cause I once dreamed of the coolest machine, but we had nowhere to plug it in.

It's a good feeling to know that your grandma is not burning in a flamey inferno. Unless she didn't give you that extra ice cream bar.

You know what I don't get? People who edit together anime and put a backing track to their vid and then post it to YouTube. Well, and partial differential equations.

I wonder if there is a special word for the impending doom and misery of a weather report that indicates that it will gradually get colder and colder until everything freezes solid and then you die of hypothermia.

Hip hop is a high art form. If you are less then 40 years of age, then you should understand that to mean that hip hop is a respectable art form on a similar plane to the work of Michalangelo, Monet, Bach and van Gogh. If you are 40 years of age or older, then you should understand that to mean that you'd have to be high on something real psycadellic to actually enjoy hip hop.

Today I turn 10. And today I will enact step 10 in my nefarious scheme to take over the world. No, no, each step doesn't take a year; I only thought up this plan when I was 8.

Peter

Dead Alive by Soul Embraced

2008-08-29T16:57:00.002+12:00

I got Soul Embraced’s Dead Alive. Man that's hardcore.

Some of the lyrics are pretty out there in the weeds. Nasty stuff. But I guess it can't be criticized for presenting a peachy-keen picture of life. It's hard to tell if the lyrics refer to the Christ-filled life or not. Soul Embraced claims to be a Christian band.

The whole album ends with the line "No one seems to hear my calls" then a hardcore snare drum riff. It left me feeling depressed.

It's pretty good music, but I don't recommend it for causal metal fans.

2/5

Peter

Book: "Sex, God and Marriage"

2008-08-28T21:42:00.001+12:00

Yesterday I finished the book "Sex, God and Marriage" by Johann Christoph Arnold. It was a good read. I had a printed version that a friend loaned to me. But even on the great wide internets you can get it in pdf format.

The author is the grandson of a guy who created a Christian community that got chased out of Nazi Germany back in the day. The interesting part is that the book is endorsed by many Catholics.

I thought it was a good read. I agreed with most of it, although I had a few minor ideological differences.

What I thought was really the best part of the book was how the author spoke strongly against particular kinds of sexual sin, but he also at the same time spoke out against making sinners feel unwelcome in church, against judging people, and he didn't elevate the importance of certain kinds of sin over others. So in many respects I felt that the author did justice to issues in a way that really brings out God's love as well as God's righteousness and justice.

There was one aspect of the book that I felt were a bit tired or maybe even untrue: it had quite a 'Oh my goodness the world is bad, worse than before and getting worse still as time progress.' It's my feeling that these are indeed dark times when evil runs feel and unrestrained and moral are loose. But it's no worse than before. Things do change, and our evil has changed direction but not intensity, I feel. Humans are just as bad as they've always been. I've had this complaint with other Christian books as well ("Lord of All" comes to mind).

I wish to comment on two things that I found particularly striking:
"True love does not originate from ourselves, but is poured out over us." (pg 52). Honestly I never really thought about this too hard. I guess I had just assumed something that I learned from a Disney movie or something. But that rings true. In romantic relationships, true love is a gift from the Original Lover. That's quite reassuring and encouraging for me to think about.

On pages 156-157, the author mentions the beast of Revelation 11, saying "This beast holds sway over every country and every government, and its mark is to be found everywhere in our day: in the disappearance of lasting friendship and community, in the oppression of the poor, and in the exploitation of women and children. It is to be seen in the wholesale murder of the unborn and the execution of the imprisoned. Most of all, it is to be seen in the lonely desperation of so many millions of people." I've never heard this interpretation of the mark of the beast before. I actually find it to be quite insightful. I guess this interpretation would take Revelation as being more of a prototype of all times. I donno if this is the right interpretation of Revelation or not. But it's interesting to think about. Imagine this: next time you're feeling lonely, that's 666 written all across your life...

In total, I'd recommend this book if you're looking for a treatise on sexual purity from the perspective of the church and the Christian individual. It was an easy read; it didn't take me long and it was quick going.

Grace and peace,
Peter

Baby

2008-08-27T18:35:00.002+12:00

Hey if you're considering an abortion, don't. I'll raise your kid.

Or, seeing as I don't have really awesome credentials for child-rearing, I could find someone else who will raise your kid.

Peter

Assualt

2008-08-26T21:31:00.002+12:00

I thought I was safe
My fortress was complete
Free inside my uber keep
Yeah, but you know what? They all say that...

I thought I understood myself
My hardened steel exterior
Any weapon against me is inferior
Yeah, but you know what? They all say that...

Peter

All Purpose Cleaner

2008-08-25T20:22:00.002+12:00

So I just mopped the floors with "All Purpose Cleaner (With Ammonia)." Now there is a bold claim. All purpose.

Now I am no doofus. I am sick, which does, admittedly, increase my Normalised Doofus Score (NDS). But don't expect me to be representing any old country at the Olympics in the doofus event.

Okay, so given that I'm a rather poor doofus, I reason that it shouldn't matter to buyers if all purpose cleaner has ammonia or not. Either the ammonia will make the cleaner unsuitable for some kinds of applications, in which case it would be wrong to say it's still all purpose, or all purpose cleaner without ammonia is just as good as all purpose cleaner without ammonia.

Yes, this is all a pointless waste of breath. Or finger tip skin, as the case may be. Oh you should see the serrated edges of my keyboard keys. Ever five words is another ten minutes worth of band-aids on my fingers!

-----------

So my rock and roll sister got to go to a rock concert. :)

Grace and peace,
Peter

A Sleeping Dream

2008-08-23T16:41:00.002+12:00

I had to laugh out loud to myself this morning when I remembered this part of my dream and I thought about it a bit. Let me explain:

In the dream I was at a musical composition workshop. I think psychologically it was based on the Nelson Composers' workshop. And it was in part of the workshop where everyone sat in a room and people took turns coming up the front and presenting something or other.

My former digital music lecturer was presenting. He wasn't presenting anything directly musically related though. He had a remote controlled electric toy car thing. I couldn't quite tell if it was a bicycle or what. I think it was kinda a bicycle, but in the dream it didn't have trouble with balance, and it had this little wood shelf below it where the battery rested.

It would drive and when my lecturer would press the go forward button or level, whatever it was, the car thing would shoot forward a little too fast. But he had a lot of fun driving it around and the guys who were organising the conference seemed really interested. I remember in the dream thinking about the sound it made. I was thinking something like "Well, it's sort of musical, because it makes sound."

My lecturer was driving it around and stuff and having a lot of fun. See he had built this thing, so it was totally his baby. Eventually he drove it into an adjacent room and the conference organiser guys followed him.

For some reason I was standing up the front. And the people in the audience were getting bored! They wanted to talk about musical composition and here was this guy with a remote controlled bike! A young woman in the front even said something like "Well, this isn't really music" or something to that effect. I tried to smooth things over by suggesting that the people interested in the remote controlled car thing could keep going and meanwhile someone else could start presenting to the main group.

The funny thing is, I'd never think the musical composition guru people would ever brand something as "not music."

It was so obviously not really musically related, but for some insane reason, my former digital music lecturer had built it and was presenting it like it was a new kind of scale tuning!

Peter

A Waking Dream

2008-08-22T21:55:00.002+12:00

So I got new guitar DSP software. So so so sweet. Line6 Gearbox!

Three mad Diezel emulations, excellent pitch shiftifies, distortion pedal emulations and much more that I haven't even explored yet. Tons of amp emulations, include bass amps and all kinds of rad stuff.

The Diezel amp sound is so sick. Like the unknown gluten intolerance days. Just sound, vomit and anger.

I'm still having trouble getting the drivers for the little boxy hardware thing working, but that's peanuts compared to the DSP cheese cake.

On a scale of 1 to Rock and Roll, this goes to 11.

I'm thrilled.

I'll have to write some rad songs that take advantage of my new ranges of guitar sound now. Probably the coolest part will be using multiple instances for individual parts of the processing so I can add in other stuff in between to create extreme sounds that will take over the world.

Hear that?

I'm gonna take over the world. And now I am ready to enact stage 3 of my dastardly plan.

Rock on over and out,
Peter

UHF Amplifier Design Calcs

2008-08-20T22:14:00.009+12:00

The math works => me happy.
The math works => me go home early.
The math works => stress decreases.

This is the part of the blog post where I would normally draw a connection between mathematics and human relationships, between Smith charts and getting dates.

But really, I'd rather just rock out and \m/ and \m/_ and all that!

void row_low(uint8_t col){
  if (col < 4) {
    DDRC |= (1 << col);
    PORTC &= ~(1 << col);
  }
  else if (col == 4) {
    DDRA |= 0x10;
    PORTA &= ~(0x10);
  }
}

This is rock and roll,
Peter

Happy

2008-08-16T10:22:00.002+12:00

So project inspection is done. Equals happy!

My heavy metal sister is throwing up her rawkfist to the sky and like, awesomeness.

I'm watching The Dark Knight tonight. Should be reasonably awesome.

Peter

Dan Wentz, MDFMK and Nine Inch Nails Collaborate

2008-08-15T07:58:00.002+12:00

So dreamed that the GAME03 MIDI music by Dan Wentz from the game Descent II actually had a vocal track embedded in it somehow, and the vocal track was from "Torpedoes" by MDFMK, but in the dream it was a Nine Inch Nails song with Trent Reznor singing!

I had opened up the file in SONAR and I was looking at it and listening to it in amazement.

Yes, the title is sensationalist. It's only in my dreams! :( But wouldn't it be cool!?

The song came about because this space pilot (who was Trent Reznor) was in this big spacecraft that had landed on a hostile world. He was surrounded by a massive robot army (like in Star Wars Episode II) and he was fighting them. Then he jettisoned this huge part of the right side of his craft and it flew into the robots and exploded, destroying some of them. Then he fired off this torpedo-like section of his craft, which he was in, and started firing lasers at the robots. I think this is where the song came in, and I could kinda see Trent Reznor in his craft singing it. At this point, the robots realised the prophecy that this pilot was going to defeat them (even though they had a massive advantage by the numbers and aparent position, since they had him surrounded). So all the robots suddenly left and then Trent Reznor was left in his spacecraft sitting there in the middle of this Calvin and Hobbs-esque desert scene with bits of metallic rubble scattered here and there.

Then mysteriously his torpedo-like craft turned into the front of a huge truck which was red. You know those things that usually carry a big load, and the whole combo has 18 wheels and stuff? It was the cab of one of those, so it did look kinda dumb. And he started driving to the right, going to a depot or something like that. I couldn't quite tell.

Then my mind started thinking: wait, he's not supposed to be in a truck, that's dumb, he's supposed to have this torpedo-escape pod from his spaceship. Things stopped behaving normally in the dream and my mind started rejecting it.

I woke up because it was so cool!

Peter

How Could I Go Back?!

2008-08-14T22:40:00.003+12:00

Song of the day:

How!
Could I ever go back
Ever go back
Back to the life
Where I lived amongst the dead?

Dead!

How can I go back?
To live
Amongst the dead

Who have forgotten how to feel
(How to feel!)
And become slaves to memory
(Become slaves!)
And wishful thinking

But your love has set me free
As you awaken every star
That has been sleeping
In the constellation of my soul

How could I go back
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!
(Amongst the dead)
How could I go back
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!
(Amongst the dead)
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!

Those who imprisoned beauty
I never want to leave your arms!

So I wait in hope
For your embrace!
For your embrace!
I wait in hope
For your embrace!
I wait in hope
For your embrace!

Illusions of what I thought was love!
Now I have clear sight to see!!
That I have left nothing behind!!!

<--- "Illusions" by As I Lay Dying.

So today I made another round of gluten free (nominally) chocolate chip biscuits. I was again disappointed. Disillusionment... :(

But the baking was fun and it was in celebration of my completing my project (tentatively) (ha!) and my flatmate's birthday yesterday and a general baking vibe that was working up in me as I walked home.

"Illusions" is the most hardcore song ever. I love the words too, although I can't say I understood any of them before I looked at the lyrics sheet. :D

This is a shoutout to my heavy metal sister: I hope you have a good time at your rock concert!

Just because I can, I'm going to make another shoutout in this post: this is to all my sisters and brothers in Christian Union. Respect. Keep representing our JC man!

------

Theology. Cynicism.
Humanity. Antipatriotism.
Love. Pain.
Blood. Salt.
Water. Fire.
Relationship. Inconvenience.
Work. Stress.
Chocolate. Gluten.
Philosophy. Detonation.
Math. Apathy.
Knife edge. Double edge sword.
Flesh. Stone.
Religion. Downward spiral.
Peace. Bitterness.
Acquaintance. Hatred.
Descent. Waste.
Communication. Isolation.
Conformity. Thermal deficit.

------

How Could I Go Back?
Peter

Personal Helicopter

2008-08-13T19:36:00.003+12:00

Okay, so I had this dream that I had a personal helicopter. It was like a bar that I held above my head which went back and had a propeller on the back of it.

I could run and jump up onto the roof of a building. It took some practice and sometimes it was a bit hard to use.

Then I flew high over the city.

Peter

Gotta Keep Typing

2008-08-08T22:42:00.002+12:00

Coding is fun but it can be a lot of work. It's just that there aren't as many interruptions as when you're working with hardware. You also have the benefit of testing right away.

Hmmm.

I love it when it works! That's just the biggest buzz ever.

Peter

Choice

2008-08-07T18:14:00.000+12:00

Choices can be bad. They have a downside.

If you don't have choice, then you won't get regret. So avoid choice and you avoid regret. Maybe?

Peter

Stack Overrun

2008-08-04T22:28:00.002+12:00

Embedded programming is like creating a little world in a chip. It's a world where things work as you dictate. It's a power trip in some ways.

But when you start getting stack overrun it's like the fabric of reality in that world starts tearing at the seams. Things just happen. And insanity, or at least dumb silent stupidity is guaranteed.

It's really a nightmare for every young EE to experience. Fortunately for me, I had a classmate who could point me in the right memory-saving direction.

Imagine that you learned something one day that overwrote your remembering your own name. It would be like this:
"Hi, what's your name?"
"tiary qualification (electronics or software engineering). NV]HI #**S_FE{"
"Huh? You okay?"

For a second I thought I was doomed.

Aaa, but that's the fun of it isn't it? Man over machine.

Peter

Laundry

2008-08-03T20:35:00.004+12:00

Jaffas
Guitar picks
Cold rain that doesn't stop for days
Sharpies that are too small
Songs that no one can understand
The water that condenses on windows
Jars
Vaseline
A length of PVC pipe
Love, oh, blessed love
Mechanical pencils that don't have enough lead
Old guitar strings
Bass drum hits on 1, 2, 3 and 4
30 push ups a day

Peter

Exactly

2008-08-01T21:27:00.003+12:00

He asked me, "So who are you?"
I said "I don't know."
And what he heard was "I don't know."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

She asked me, "So what makes you come alive?"
I said "I don't know."
And what she heard was "I don't know."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

They asked me "So where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
"In a silver mirror," I said.
And what they heard was "I don't know."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

I asked myself "What's should I do now?"
And I said to myself in the most introspective way:
"Lift your eyes upward, myself. See the heavens and the hills.
They are bigger than me, myself. But I have a friend who is bigger still."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

Peter

Birthday Shoutout

2008-07-28T19:00:00.002+12:00

This is a birthday shoutout to my sister in Christ, Allie!

Happy birthday!

For the rest of you, talk to Allie sometime. I'm sure she'd love to tell you about the mighty, loving God that she loves and serves, and that I love and serve.

Peter

So... Can't You Take All of Me?

2008-07-28T18:53:00.002+12:00

What a mighty and wonderful and loving God I serve!

- Mercies new each morning.
- His strength made perfect in my weakness.
- Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.
- Wonderful freedom.

And all that, plus, Project 86! It's really amazing, I think, that the same God that made daffodils and pink things also lets Andrew Schwab go out there and yell all about him.

If one day I'm half as cool as Andrew Schwab, that will be enough for me. :D

"With a
Steady steady
Hand hand
Hammer hammer
Blade blade
Through your
Sweaty sweaty
Skin skin skin

Please don’t stay
We’re well past asking
This time we’ll make it clear
Our point is made
You’re no longer welcome here"

Peter

Last Lecture

2008-07-26T18:10:00.002+12:00

It's long, but not a second of the lecture is wasted.

Peter

Bungee Jumping

2008-07-25T22:25:00.002+12:00

Bungee jumping is dangerous to your retinas. Also, it's dangerous because they might miscalculate the required length of cord and actually kill you.

But it might be really fun.

Peter

Artist of the Day: Brooke Fraser

2008-07-24T17:54:00.002+12:00

I decided that I need to destress more. So I decided to like Brooke Fraser. It's not as hard as that sentence makes it out to be though: Brooke Fraser is the woman!

Like, Albertine is a great album! Man it's good! This singer rocks!

"Oh, can you feel the gravity falling
Calling us home
Oh, did you see the stars colliding
Shining just to show
We belong"

Peter

Mysterious Forces

2008-07-22T18:44:00.002+12:00

When mysterious forces conspire to bring me pizza, it makes me feel loved. :)

Strange things have occurred today. But sometimes strange is really good!

Peter

I Like to Move It

2008-07-21T21:56:00.001+12:00

Dance moves learned/remembered today:

Hip throw
Over the hill
Figure 8-y thing
Chicago
Scissor dip

Fun!

Peter

I'm in Love

2008-07-20T22:59:00.002+12:00

I love this!

I love God!

I love you!

Peter

Dance More

2008-07-17T22:01:00.002+12:00

Well, after about a year of absence, today I went out to UCanDance. It was great!

I remembered more dance moves that I had once learned and then forgot.

As a reminder to myself:
Modern jive moves:
- Figure eight. (Ends with lean!)
- The kneeing one where the guy twirls the girl at the end.
- The back tapping one where you start with a guy turn.
- The first move. (Waltz hold, then face the same way, then spin girl under then spin again).
- Guys turn with and without hand change.
- Airplane.

Salsa moves:
- Guy turn (different to modern jive one; bring elbow in front of guy's face).
- Girl turn.
- The one where you lift your arms, twist them up, then go into a cradle then spin the girl 1.5 times.

Merengue moves:
- The basic step.
1. Left foot forward (put your weight on it).
2. Step back to right foot.
3. Put left foot back next to right foot.
4. Rest.
5. Right foot back (put your weight on it).
6. Step forward to left foot.
7. Put right foot back next to left foot.
8. Rest
- Double back step.

There are lots of other moves. Some of which I probably remember too. But these are ones worth noting tonight.

Rock on!
Peter

More or Less

2008-07-15T22:11:00.002+12:00

Dance more, sing more, pray more
Stress less, worry less, curse less
Work more, play more, live more
Waste less, bore less, hate less
Love more.

Peter

Ryan Clark is Me

2008-07-14T22:29:00.002+12:00

"A black heart in an empty shell where the desperation laid waste
I am you!
A blank page in an unknown book and the opposition you face
I am
The endless scar, the broken hope, the gaping hole in your faith
I am you!
The dark trail of endless graves where all the lifeless lay

I am
Waiting for that blade to fall and cut me free of this
Hollow life that leads to all the ends that don’t exist

Time to burn this design, to free ourselves
We will burn this together
Time to fuse this design, to make us one
We will burn this together

A new voice for the broken souls in a world awaiting its death
I am you!
An everlasting well of life for the hopeless and the wrecked
I am
The dying self, the narrow path, the calm that conquered the storm
I am you!
The crosshairs on the head of shame, the negation to conform"

By Demon Hunter.

Peter

Fascinated

2008-07-11T16:09:00.002+12:00

I am fascinated.

Love,
Peter

For The Love of The Game

2008-07-09T17:49:00.002+12:00

"Count me in but don't count me out
You can't shut me up
You can't shut me down

Fight through the hurt
Fight through the pain
Without the ache
There is no gain
And we live our lives
For the love of the game" <--- Pillar.

Do some things with great love.

Act Justly.
Love Mercy.
Walk Humbly before your God.

What is your passion?
What is your strength?

Take risks!
Mitigate risks but, man, go on and take them!
Take risks!

Never forget who you are.
Figure out who you are if you have to, first.

Go out and have a bowl of spice chai!

Love,
Peter

Dear Reader

2008-07-08T22:09:00.003+12:00

"Let's face it, dear reader, neither one of us is getting any younger. If you don't go after your dreams now, when will you?" (What Color is Your Parachute, by R. N. Bolles)

Hell yeah!

Peter

So I Was Thinking About My Future

2008-07-07T19:49:00.003+12:00

So I was thinking about my future but this time I had an interesting thought which went something like this: so I was thinking about my future but then it actually happened and I was like: so I was thinking about my future but it actually was something interesting in my head and it was something boring on the page but the future was, itself, something like this: so I was thinking about the future but this time I was so confused by all the imagined possibilities that I didn't end up doing anything so I actually died the next day sitting in front of my computer screen as I wrote a blog post that went something like this: so I was thinking about getting a job and getting a wife and getting a future when I realised that maybe it's more important to do work, to be a hubby, to make someone's future brighter than to go about getting and getting and getting until I end up with everything and I find that I'm just sitting in front of the computer screen writing a blog post that goes something like this: so I was sitting and thinking and not doing anything but wishing that my dentist appointment was now instead of in 13 hours because I don't like getting up so early in my holiday but it was something like this: so I was thinking about how I don't really have a holiday because I have to do work, but I've ended up taking quite a bit of a holiday anyway and oh my freaking goodness I've got so much work to do in the immediate future that I wonder how I'm ever going to think about my real future, you know the one where I'm perfectly happy and everything is carefully photoshopped up and all the ugly hairs are plucked out and all the scars are painted over, and my thinking about the future goes something like this: so I was thinking about my future and it wasn't a very original idea but I thought that I should very much like to have dinner each night next year, but you know, that's not the most important thing, so maybe instead I should resolve to miss dinner a few nights next year, you know so that my thinking could go something like this: so I was thinking about my future but I couldn't really figure God into the equation at all so I just decided to become a nihilist but then I realised that there wouldn't be any point and I starting thinking something like this: so I was thinking about my future but nothing made sense and
all my nightmares came true.

Peter

Legacy

2008-07-05T21:58:00.002+12:00

Student Life National conference was awesome.

And as an added bonus, I did not fall asleep at the wheel on the way home.

I wish this song by Kutless were featured in the conference:

Oh the memories
Of all the things that shouldn’t be
They take you away from all you should be
Don’t let it go by as if you agree

Nightmares of the past will fade away
The future of your name is what will stay
Never try to blame the past for everything you say
You have the power you need to change your legacy

Do you really want to be just like
The very ones you blame who take you away
From all you should be
Don’t just stand by as if you agree

Nightmares of the past will fade away
The future of your name is what will stay
Never try to blame the past for everything you say
You have the power you need to change your legacy

Think of the future and when you are gone
How will you be remembered then
For all time you can be the one who changed the name

Nightmares of the past will fade away
The future of your name is what will stay
Never try to blame the past for everything you say
You have the power you need to change your legacy

To change your legacy
Change your legacy

---------

And while I'm posting awesome lyrics, I might as well post "Wordsmith Legacy" by Project 86:

Knock knock knock
Sound the blows to the forehead from the
Mock mock mock
Of the words, a voice I hear every morning

Like stalking me from yesterday
The taunts of one who sought to frame
The picture of this desolate
This figure cowering

Every word a double edged sword
A double edged sword
My every word

Drop drop drop
Sound the sledge to the metal
Shot shot shot
Sound the pin to the chamber
My own words pound after me
Intentions bent on conquering
The very will I proudly claimed
Was the very axe that cut the nape

Every word a double edged sword
A double edged sword
My every word

(I’ll never, ever look back
Sitting still, sitting still
Arrogant mindset of lusts
They search and strain and drink and stagger
When we are hollow
Sitting still, sitting still
You hate us cause we’ll never go away)

“You can drown
In your own mistakes
Burrowing into the black
Or you can take my hand”

Double
Edged
Sword
My every word

“This gift was never yours
So why would you ever think
That the words you said were your own?
I have chosen and breathed and forgiven and changed and purged and cleaned and forgave and bathed and carried and soothed and burned and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken…
Yours is not to proclaim… But only to obey.”

-------------------

I'll be leaving a legacy. Will you?

Peter

Hast Seen the White Whale?

2008-06-27T20:58:00.002+12:00

Today I finished reading Moby-Dick, by Herman Melville.

A great book, but it includes some descriptions that I found rather dry. But the book is on the whole, a great read, with a great style and good adventure.

Peter

The End of The World, Again

2008-06-25T22:36:00.002+12:00

The concert went well. "Stoked" is about the right word, I believe.

If the world actually ends soon, then it wasn't me! I was being facetious, really!

;)

Peter

Fusion concert

2008-06-24T22:03:00.002+12:00

Those of you who read this from Facebook will probably realise that tomorrow is an historic day for me: my first premier as a professional composer. Well, 'professional' as in, I was commissioned, not that I make my livelihood from it.

It's not true to say that I've always wanted to do something like this, but maybe I've wanted to do something like this for half-ish of my life.

When I invite people, it's to let them share in my pride (or suffer my arrogance, as the case may be). It means a lot to me, that I invite the people close to me, so that they have an opportunity to see an important part of my life.

Whether you come or not, for whatever reason, I hope that at least you can rejoice with me that one of my dreams is being fulfilled.

Peter