So I Was Thinking About My Future

So I was thinking about my future but this time I had an interesting thought which went something like this: so I was thinking about my future but then it actually happened and I was like: so I was thinking about my future but it actually was something interesting in my head and it was something boring on the page but the future was, itself, something like this: so I was thinking about the future but this time I was so confused by all the imagined possibilities that I didn't end up doing anything so I actually died the next day sitting in front of my computer screen as I wrote a blog post that went something like this: so I was thinking about getting a job and getting a wife and getting a future when I realised that maybe it's more important to do work, to be a hubby, to make someone's future brighter than to go about getting and getting and getting until I end up with everything and I find that I'm just sitting in front of the computer screen writing a blog post that goes something like this: so I was sitting and thinking and not doing anything but wishing that my dentist appointment was now instead of in 13 hours because I don't like getting up so early in my holiday but it was something like this: so I was thinking about how I don't really have a holiday because I have to do work, but I've ended up taking quite a bit of a holiday anyway and oh my freaking goodness I've got so much work to do in the immediate future that I wonder how I'm ever going to think about my real future, you know the one where I'm perfectly happy and everything is carefully photoshopped up and all the ugly hairs are plucked out and all the scars are painted over, and my thinking about the future goes something like this: so I was thinking about my future and it wasn't a very original idea but I thought that I should very much like to have dinner each night next year, but you know, that's not the most important thing, so maybe instead I should resolve to miss dinner a few nights next year, you know so that my thinking could go something like this: so I was thinking about my future but I couldn't really figure God into the equation at all so I just decided to become a nihilist but then I realised that there wouldn't be any point and I starting thinking something like this: so I was thinking about my future but nothing made sense and
all my nightmares came true.

Peter