Friday, August 29, 2008

Music To Brush Your Teeth To

There are original jokes, by yours truly:

Music to brush your teeth to:

"Or take Jane Doe here as an example: her identity was stolen and now not even her mother recognises her."

I've been Facebook stalking you. And I think I know who you are. I want to kill you.

The music speaks to me. Sometimes with the Voice of God, other times with the voice only of John le Carre.

It freaks me out that we don't know everything there is to know about water. Does that freak you out?

Party this Saturday night! BYOICBM.

I want to eat someone's head. Gingerbread perferably, but I'm not actually that picky. Guess you should watch out for me.

Isn't it interesting that Neil Armstrong is famous for taking a "small step" that was a "giant leap" and that Lance Armstrong is a famous cyclist? Neither man is famous for lifting something.

Some guy's research project suggests that determing whether a man's face is beautiful or not is harder for a computer than determining if a woman's face is beautiful. There's gotta be a sexist joke somewhere in there.

Lesser known than Agent Orange, are Agent Purple, Agent Pink, Agent Green, Agent White, Agent Blue, and Agent Cody Banks. All of them but Agent Blue and Agent White contained carcinogens.

I suggest that all young people get really good at taking tests. You will not only do better in school, but you will find your eyesight will be measurably improved, your hearing will go off more later, you will get better jobs, and you will have a higher IQ.

In loneliness there is no opposing force. At least enemies are company.

Pain is an interesting thing. It can be good for you, it can teach you, refine you, strengthen you. And it can also mindlessly torture you with no postive effect at all.

A gaming console is like a hot dog. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad by itself, it only depends on how many extras you have and who you're sharing it with, specifically, how greedy that person is.

People my age and younger are getting married. Oldness! AAAAAAAA!

I once met a young lady on the street after dark who thought I was a crazy homeless guy on drugs. She was wrong. The darkness prevented her from seeing that I'm really a purple flying donkey.

The metronome is my master. I-am-a-slave-to-his-rhy-thm.

Sometimes I wonder how to use an abacus to do my accounting. Other times I make myself a cheap vegetarian curry for dinner and forget that I even own an abacus.

My sister got so frustrated when she tried to learn violin that I've loved music ever since.

A good book is your ticket to a good fire. A good drink is your ticket to a good fire. A good cigarette is your ticket to a good fire. A good secretary/mistress is your ticket to a good fire. A rough gentleman's entertainment can start a lot of good fires.

There was the Internet and now we have Web 2.0. And tomorrow we'll have a good laugh about it all and go back outside and watch the sun set.

I once tried to bring a swing set home. My mother wouldn't let me, but at least I got more LEGO than usual that Christmas.

My girlfriend said she was dumping me because I don't read enough good books. I said I was dumping her because she didn't read enough good websites.

They said rock and roll will never die, and looky now! Hip hop, on the other hand, will really never die.

I tried to raise up a school of goldfish by calling my people out of their slavery in Egypt, but all I have to show for it is a lot of evidence that you can't burn a bush for long under water.

I never understood jazz. But then I learned to talk by watching television, so I guess it's a fair trade.

I heard that in Nepal they have the tallest mountain in the world. I was gonna go and climb it, but then I heard that Chicago had the tallest building in the world and that it had an elevator.

I used to fear spiders, the dark, heights, big dogs, enclosed spaces, crowds and needles. Now I have nothing to be unafraid of but fear itself.

My last house had a lot of air drafts. Then I flooded it and the problem went away.

iPods are white and Macs are white and Steve Jobs is white. Do you think it's all a big racist conspiracy?

They say you should never look directly into the sun, but they don't also warn you to never look directly at the moon. I did that once. It's a lunatic idea.

The Internet has connected man like nothing else. I mean, except the pub, obviously.

The new pope speaks six languages. But he's still Catholic. For a second there I was getting excited.

Seems like everyone these days is named Muhammad. Betcha that's where they got the 'M' in 'Mr'.

How can the New York Times have a new #1 best seller every week? And while I'm being picky, wouldn't "#1 best" be redundant?

"Son, see that guy in the town square selling salvation who everyone ignores? One day, you could be that guy. Wouldn't ever matter if you failed high school."

They say there is no word that rhymes with orange. I take that as a sure sign that all who have gone before me have had a fetish on keeping the English language holy and unmodified. Shakespeare would turn over in his ablorange grave.

Your mommy probably told you not to give money to grotty beggers. Little did she know but people like her have destoryed my livelihood.

People in the first world always want to be more thin. People in the third world always want to be less thin. I'm working on a way for them to trade. Then I'll be stinkin' rich.

If Kanye West digs a gold digger, I suggest that he marries Heather Mills. I hear she goes for those musical guys. Get down girl, go 'head get down.

Someone moved my cheese in my career. Fortunately, they didn't take the crackers or the champagne.

Some people get drunk. Others hold up a broom, look at the ceiling and spin around until they fall over. I'm told it's pretty much the same thing except that it's a lot cheaper.

What if I send a letter and just before it gets postmarked, the cost to send a letter increases? For simplicity, let's say it's the letter 'A'.

I wonder if there is a really awesome career path for librarians. Maybe you start off as the guy shelving books on the bottom shelf of the third sub-basement and you gradually work your way up to a desk job. Maybe you can be come an executive librarian and work out library strategy stuff.

High school is kinda like a bad joke with a really long build up with no punchline. No wait. You get punched a lot more than than.

In playing the blues it is helpful to be depressed, estranged, opressed, drunk and if at all possible, dead.

A lot of good choirs and book groups start in prisons. You might think that people go to prison and they network with other criminals. But actually you will find that the most productive and upright community members are in prison. Like Nelson Mandela.

Any idea as good as democracy is worth selling. Instead of bombing the burqas off our enemies, us Americans should mount a massive advertising campaign. "And if you buy now, we will throw in the free constitution writing kit at NO EXTRA CHARGE!"

I used to be at war with my flatmate's cats. But the cats being lazy, and me being a true pacist at heart, we've settled for an abusive domestic relationship.

I don't have split personality disorder and neither does he.

I once saw a Russian dancer who was as tall as a tree. Funny, cause he was playing the tree part. Come to think of it, why was a Russian dancer playing the tree part in the middle of the forest anyway?

All women should grow their hair long enough to make washing it an all day exercise. And they should wear really uncomfortable shoes. That way I will be less tempted to get a sex change.

I once saw an old guy eating a lolly from the bulk bins at the grocery store. I was gonna stop him, but I was too busy enjoying the free lolly.

My friend said that he had to grow a mustache as part of his officer training in the airforce. I guess it's important to be able to use a wide variety of deadly weapons.

I don't use spell check. Not only does it stiffle creativity btu ti sotps heglei oleraqretnign.

Lightning never strikes the same place twice. So if you are caught in a thunderstorm, you should take cover by running to the first place that gets struck and staying there.

Carpet is far better than hardwood floors. Who ever gave their brother a real good burn on a hardwood floor?

Most people look down on vandalism, but not me. The art of the burnt out letter box is wholly undervalued.

The band The Who has the record for the loudest rock concert. You were there? I SAID, THE BAND THE WHO HAS THE RECORD FOR THE LOUDEST ROCK CONCERT.

I went to get an operation and I told the surgon that I didn't like his receptionist. Really, that's why both my arms are on the same side.

If robots dream of electric sheep then would that mean that there are outlets in their dreams too? Then I would love to be a robot cause I once dreamed of the coolest machine, but we had nowhere to plug it in.

It's a good feeling to know that your grandma is not burning in a flamey inferno. Unless she didn't give you that extra ice cream bar.

You know what I don't get? People who edit together anime and put a backing track to their vid and then post it to YouTube. Well, and partial differential equations.

I wonder if there is a special word for the impending doom and misery of a weather report that indicates that it will gradually get colder and colder until everything freezes solid and then you die of hypothermia.

Hip hop is a high art form. If you are less then 40 years of age, then you should understand that to mean that hip hop is a respectable art form on a similar plane to the work of Michalangelo, Monet, Bach and van Gogh. If you are 40 years of age or older, then you should understand that to mean that you'd have to be high on something real psycadellic to actually enjoy hip hop.

Today I turn 10. And today I will enact step 10 in my nefarious scheme to take over the world. No, no, each step doesn't take a year; I only thought up this plan when I was 8.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Book: "Sex, God and Marriage"

Yesterday I finished the book "Sex, God and Marriage" by Johann Christoph Arnold. It was a good read. I had a printed version that a friend loaned to me. But even on the great wide internets you can get it in pdf format.

The author is the grandson of a guy who created a Christian community that got chased out of Nazi Germany back in the day. The interesting part is that the book is endorsed by many Catholics.

I thought it was a good read. I agreed with most of it, although I had a few minor ideological differences.

What I thought was really the best part of the book was how the author spoke strongly against particular kinds of sexual sin, but he also at the same time spoke out against making sinners feel unwelcome in church, against judging people, and he didn't elevate the importance of certain kinds of sin over others. So in many respects I felt that the author did justice to issues in a way that really brings out God's love as well as God's righteousness and justice.

There was one aspect of the book that I felt were a bit tired or maybe even untrue: it had quite a 'Oh my goodness the world is bad, worse than before and getting worse still as time progress.' It's my feeling that these are indeed dark times when evil runs feel and unrestrained and moral are loose. But it's no worse than before. Things do change, and our evil has changed direction but not intensity, I feel. Humans are just as bad as they've always been. I've had this complaint with other Christian books as well ("Lord of All" comes to mind).

I wish to comment on two things that I found particularly striking:
"True love does not originate from ourselves, but is poured out over us." (pg 52). Honestly I never really thought about this too hard. I guess I had just assumed something that I learned from a Disney movie or something. But that rings true. In romantic relationships, true love is a gift from the Original Lover. That's quite reassuring and encouraging for me to think about.

On pages 156-157, the author mentions the beast of Revelation 11, saying "This beast holds sway over every country and every government, and its mark is to be found everywhere in our day: in the disappearance of lasting friendship and community, in the oppression of the poor, and in the exploitation of women and children. It is to be seen in the wholesale murder of the unborn and the execution of the imprisoned. Most of all, it is to be seen in the lonely desperation of so many millions of people." I've never heard this interpretation of the mark of the beast before. I actually find it to be quite insightful. I guess this interpretation would take Revelation as being more of a prototype of all times. I donno if this is the right interpretation of Revelation or not. But it's interesting to think about. Imagine this: next time you're feeling lonely, that's 666 written all across your life...

In total, I'd recommend this book if you're looking for a treatise on sexual purity from the perspective of the church and the Christian individual. It was an easy read; it didn't take me long and it was quick going.

Grace and peace,

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Hey if you're considering an abortion, don't. I'll raise your kid.

Or, seeing as I don't have really awesome credentials for child-rearing, I could find someone else who will raise your kid.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I thought I was safe
My fortress was complete
Free inside my uber keep
Yeah, but you know what? They all say that...

I thought I understood myself
My hardened steel exterior
Any weapon against me is inferior
Yeah, but you know what? They all say that...


Monday, August 25, 2008

All Purpose Cleaner

So I just mopped the floors with "All Purpose Cleaner (With Ammonia)." Now there is a bold claim. All purpose.

Now I am no doofus. I am sick, which does, admittedly, increase my Normalised Doofus Score (NDS). But don't expect me to be representing any old country at the Olympics in the doofus event.

Okay, so given that I'm a rather poor doofus, I reason that it shouldn't matter to buyers if all purpose cleaner has ammonia or not. Either the ammonia will make the cleaner unsuitable for some kinds of applications, in which case it would be wrong to say it's still all purpose, or all purpose cleaner without ammonia is just as good as all purpose cleaner without ammonia.

Yes, this is all a pointless waste of breath. Or finger tip skin, as the case may be. Oh you should see the serrated edges of my keyboard keys. Ever five words is another ten minutes worth of band-aids on my fingers!


So my rock and roll sister got to go to a rock concert. :)

Grace and peace,

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A Sleeping Dream

I had to laugh out loud to myself this morning when I remembered this part of my dream and I thought about it a bit. Let me explain:

In the dream I was at a musical composition workshop. I think psychologically it was based on the Nelson Composers' workshop. And it was in part of the workshop where everyone sat in a room and people took turns coming up the front and presenting something or other.

My former digital music lecturer was presenting. He wasn't presenting anything directly musically related though. He had a remote controlled electric toy car thing. I couldn't quite tell if it was a bicycle or what. I think it was kinda a bicycle, but in the dream it didn't have trouble with balance, and it had this little wood shelf below it where the battery rested.

It would drive and when my lecturer would press the go forward button or level, whatever it was, the car thing would shoot forward a little too fast. But he had a lot of fun driving it around and the guys who were organising the conference seemed really interested. I remember in the dream thinking about the sound it made. I was thinking something like "Well, it's sort of musical, because it makes sound."

My lecturer was driving it around and stuff and having a lot of fun. See he had built this thing, so it was totally his baby. Eventually he drove it into an adjacent room and the conference organiser guys followed him.

For some reason I was standing up the front. And the people in the audience were getting bored! They wanted to talk about musical composition and here was this guy with a remote controlled bike! A young woman in the front even said something like "Well, this isn't really music" or something to that effect. I tried to smooth things over by suggesting that the people interested in the remote controlled car thing could keep going and meanwhile someone else could start presenting to the main group.

The funny thing is, I'd never think the musical composition guru people would ever brand something as "not music."

It was so obviously not really musically related, but for some insane reason, my former digital music lecturer had built it and was presenting it like it was a new kind of scale tuning!


Friday, August 22, 2008

A Waking Dream

So I got new guitar DSP software. So so so sweet. Line6 Gearbox!

Three mad Diezel emulations, excellent pitch shiftifies, distortion pedal emulations and much more that I haven't even explored yet. Tons of amp emulations, include bass amps and all kinds of rad stuff.

The Diezel amp sound is so sick. Like the unknown gluten intolerance days. Just sound, vomit and anger.

I'm still having trouble getting the drivers for the little boxy hardware thing working, but that's peanuts compared to the DSP cheese cake.

On a scale of 1 to Rock and Roll, this goes to 11.

I'm thrilled.

I'll have to write some rad songs that take advantage of my new ranges of guitar sound now. Probably the coolest part will be using multiple instances for individual parts of the processing so I can add in other stuff in between to create extreme sounds that will take over the world.

Hear that?

I'm gonna take over the world. And now I am ready to enact stage 3 of my dastardly plan.

Rock on over and out,

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

UHF Amplifier Design Calcs

The math works => me happy.
The math works => me go home early.
The math works => stress decreases.

This is the part of the blog post where I would normally draw a connection between mathematics and human relationships, between Smith charts and getting dates.

But really, I'd rather just rock out and \m/ and \m/_ and all that!

void row_low(uint8_t col){
  if (col < 4) {
    DDRC |= (1 << col);
    PORTC &= ~(1 << col);
  else if (col == 4) {
    DDRA |= 0x10;
    PORTA &= ~(0x10);

This is rock and roll,

Saturday, August 16, 2008


So project inspection is done. Equals happy!

My heavy metal sister is throwing up her rawkfist to the sky and like, awesomeness.

I'm watching The Dark Knight tonight. Should be reasonably awesome.


Friday, August 15, 2008

Dan Wentz, MDFMK and Nine Inch Nails Collaborate

So dreamed that the GAME03 MIDI music by Dan Wentz from the game Descent II actually had a vocal track embedded in it somehow, and the vocal track was from "Torpedoes" by MDFMK, but in the dream it was a Nine Inch Nails song with Trent Reznor singing!

I had opened up the file in SONAR and I was looking at it and listening to it in amazement.

Yes, the title is sensationalist. It's only in my dreams! :( But wouldn't it be cool!?

The song came about because this space pilot (who was Trent Reznor) was in this big spacecraft that had landed on a hostile world. He was surrounded by a massive robot army (like in Star Wars Episode II) and he was fighting them. Then he jettisoned this huge part of the right side of his craft and it flew into the robots and exploded, destroying some of them. Then he fired off this torpedo-like section of his craft, which he was in, and started firing lasers at the robots. I think this is where the song came in, and I could kinda see Trent Reznor in his craft singing it. At this point, the robots realised the prophecy that this pilot was going to defeat them (even though they had a massive advantage by the numbers and aparent position, since they had him surrounded). So all the robots suddenly left and then Trent Reznor was left in his spacecraft sitting there in the middle of this Calvin and Hobbs-esque desert scene with bits of metallic rubble scattered here and there.

Then mysteriously his torpedo-like craft turned into the front of a huge truck which was red. You know those things that usually carry a big load, and the whole combo has 18 wheels and stuff? It was the cab of one of those, so it did look kinda dumb. And he started driving to the right, going to a depot or something like that. I couldn't quite tell.

Then my mind started thinking: wait, he's not supposed to be in a truck, that's dumb, he's supposed to have this torpedo-escape pod from his spaceship. Things stopped behaving normally in the dream and my mind started rejecting it.

I woke up because it was so cool!


Thursday, August 14, 2008

How Could I Go Back?!

Song of the day:

Could I ever go back
Ever go back
Back to the life
Where I lived amongst the dead?


How can I go back?
To live
Amongst the dead

Who have forgotten how to feel
(How to feel!)
And become slaves to memory
(Become slaves!)
And wishful thinking

But your love has set me free
As you awaken every star
That has been sleeping
In the constellation of my soul

How could I go back
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!
(Amongst the dead)
How could I go back
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!
(Amongst the dead)
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!
How could I go back
To live amongst the dead?!

Those who imprisoned beauty
I never want to leave your arms!

So I wait in hope
For your embrace!
For your embrace!
I wait in hope
For your embrace!
I wait in hope
For your embrace!

Illusions of what I thought was love!
Now I have clear sight to see!!
That I have left nothing behind!!!
<--- "Illusions" by As I Lay Dying.

So today I made another round of gluten free (nominally) chocolate chip biscuits. I was again disappointed. Disillusionment... :(

But the baking was fun and it was in celebration of my completing my project (tentatively) (ha!) and my flatmate's birthday yesterday and a general baking vibe that was working up in me as I walked home.

"Illusions" is the most hardcore song ever. I love the words too, although I can't say I understood any of them before I looked at the lyrics sheet. :D

This is a shoutout to my heavy metal sister: I hope you have a good time at your rock concert!

Just because I can, I'm going to make another shoutout in this post: this is to all my sisters and brothers in Christian Union. Respect. Keep representing our JC man!


Theology. Cynicism.
Humanity. Antipatriotism.
Love. Pain.
Blood. Salt.
Water. Fire.
Relationship. Inconvenience.
Work. Stress.
Chocolate. Gluten.
Philosophy. Detonation.
Math. Apathy.
Knife edge. Double edge sword.
Flesh. Stone.
Religion. Downward spiral.
Peace. Bitterness.
Acquaintance. Hatred.
Descent. Waste.
Communication. Isolation.
Conformity. Thermal deficit.


How Could I Go Back?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Personal Helicopter

Okay, so I had this dream that I had a personal helicopter. It was like a bar that I held above my head which went back and had a propeller on the back of it.

I could run and jump up onto the roof of a building. It took some practice and sometimes it was a bit hard to use.

Then I flew high over the city.


Friday, August 8, 2008

Gotta Keep Typing

Coding is fun but it can be a lot of work. It's just that there aren't as many interruptions as when you're working with hardware. You also have the benefit of testing right away.


I love it when it works! That's just the biggest buzz ever.


Thursday, August 7, 2008


Choices can be bad. They have a downside.

If you don't have choice, then you won't get regret. So avoid choice and you avoid regret. Maybe?


Monday, August 4, 2008

Stack Overrun

Embedded programming is like creating a little world in a chip. It's a world where things work as you dictate. It's a power trip in some ways.

But when you start getting stack overrun it's like the fabric of reality in that world starts tearing at the seams. Things just happen. And insanity, or at least dumb silent stupidity is guaranteed.

It's really a nightmare for every young EE to experience. Fortunately for me, I had a classmate who could point me in the right memory-saving direction.

Imagine that you learned something one day that overwrote your remembering your own name. It would be like this:
"Hi, what's your name?"
"tiary qualification (electronics or software engineering). NV]HI #**S_FE{"
"Huh? You okay?"

For a second I thought I was doomed.

Aaa, but that's the fun of it isn't it? Man over machine.


Sunday, August 3, 2008


Guitar picks
Cold rain that doesn't stop for days
Sharpies that are too small
Songs that no one can understand
The water that condenses on windows
A length of PVC pipe
Love, oh, blessed love
Mechanical pencils that don't have enough lead
Old guitar strings
Bass drum hits on 1, 2, 3 and 4
30 push ups a day


Friday, August 1, 2008


He asked me, "So who are you?"
I said "I don't know."
And what he heard was "I don't know."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

She asked me, "So what makes you come alive?"
I said "I don't know."
And what she heard was "I don't know."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

They asked me "So where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
"In a silver mirror," I said.
And what they heard was "I don't know."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."

I asked myself "What's should I do now?"
And I said to myself in the most introspective way:
"Lift your eyes upward, myself. See the heavens and the hills.
They are bigger than me, myself. But I have a friend who is bigger still."
But what I meant was "I don't know exactly."